Dear Clients, Partners, Friends, and Other Suckers Who Opened This Email,

2025…What a year! We laughed, then cried, then laughed a bit more, and then ugly cried. After pulling ourselves together to reflect on the year, it truly was another one for the books. So, even though you really don't want to hear about it, we're going to start blabbering. You've already made it through four sentences (almost five!), so you're pretty much committed now. Buckle up!

In 2025, we said goodbye to our beloved Winnie (our eight-wheeled, all-terrain, go-anywhere-and-look-good-while-doing-it Argo). She was stolen from an equipment yard and in true Winnie fashion, rather than using the gate she drove through the chain-link perimeter fence. Think Kool-Aid guy with more wheels. Surveillance footage captured audio of her final words: "YOU WON'T TAKE ME ALIVE!!!!". And true to form, Winnie was later found, deceased, in the middle of the boreal forest. As per Winnie's wishes, her organs are being donated. It isn't pretty, but it's what she would have wanted. RIP Winnie.

*The south end of a pronghorn walking north.*

We were ecstatic to welcome Misha and Hillary back after they both (separately) gave birth to their second (human) babies. We can confidently say that they are back and better than ever! Performance has been so lights out that 'Negotiating with Toddlers 101' is a professional development course that management is adding to the list of required training at AJM in 2026.

We also launched our newest software product to the world: OpsLogic. What started out as our 'little internal everything app that could' has left the nest and is navigating the big scary world all by itself. OpsLogic’s mission is simple: to help companies keep the wheels on safety-sensitive field and office operations (all the things behind the scenes that help us do the work that we love!). OpsLogic has been reminded that the AJM basement is full, so not to mess things up and expect a free place to live!

The AJM Annual Team Rattlesnake Monitoring trip took a turn for the rustic with most of the crew choosing the ‘deluxe tent’ room option (see photo evidence below!). Despite comments that standards have really started to go to sh*t at AJM, morale was at an all time high?? Noting the correlation, management has planned further degradation of field accommodations and expects nothing but positive results.

While wrangling rattlesnakes, we got a video of a big 'ole bucket of snakes being released and promptly uploaded it to Instagram (as you do in 2025). Happy to say that as a result, AJM's socials went 'Certified Viral' with the reel getting over 5 Million views! Check it out here. We also learned that only really nice people who love rattlesnakes comment on Insta posts (heavy sarcasm).

*Teddy the Tortoise, Employee of the Year AJ-Emmy Recipient*

We wrapped up 2025 with an AJM tradition: the pomp and circumstance of the coveted AJ-Emmy Awards (they're like the Golden Globes but less mean). Notably, we had two new AJ-Emmy Award categories this year: ‘MILF of the Year’ and ‘DILF of the Year’. Before you start questioning what kind of operation we're running at AJM, both awards are aquatics-focussed as they are short for 'Majorly Into Liking Fish' and 'Definitely Into Liking Fish'. AJM management has been informed that their fish-centric OnlyFans sites will be launching soon.

Sadly, no human could unseat Teddy the Tortoise for the prestigious Employee of the Year AJ-Emmy. This was Teddy's third consecutive win and fourth nomination in the category, leading many AJM'ers to believe that a 'resting bitch face' is a requirement in the judging criteria. Management has not commented.

All joking aside, we want to thank you for being part of the AJM journey in 2025. We're humbled to be able to do the work we love with fantastic people. From our 'family' to yours, all the best over the holiday season and into 2026!

Fondly avec fromage,
The AJM Enviro Family